Dakin D1

D1 is a mysterious land located in Dakin and the inhabitants may or may not watch you during your smoke break and hypothesize the story of your life. Despite its technical and seemingly harmless designation of "substance-free," don't be surprised if an exchange student from Bhutan decides to smoke you in place of the $10 cigarettes she is addicted to. This lovely oasis, located conveniently on the ground floor of Dakin includes (in order of room):

Molly Hearn (MolMol, Molly Molasses, Molly Molasses the Granola Heartbreaker): Molly Hearn is a lovely lady from New Hampshire from the most amazing family ever created. She looks much younger than she is and her body makeup is probably about 57% granola. She's got all the brains and calm and tea supplies you'll ever need. She will introduce you to the great cure of the masses called elderberry syrup. She likes Peru. Her dry erase boards often includes poems and exclamations of great love from her various lovers who constantly compete over her attentions.

Devon Ingraham-Adie (DevDev): Devon is a very nice young man with rosy cheeks who comes from somewhere in Massachusetts and often disappears there for days on end. Devon is widely known across the hall and even Hampshire for his love of doing "flips and shit." This is no joke. Devon defies gravity on a regular basis. He is a happy person and brandishes compliments like kidnappers do candy. You'll like him.

Eshe Shukura: Eshe, from the author's best knowledge, comes and gos. Eshe has a pretty jacket and a big laugh.

Melanie Cox (MelMel): Melanie also comes from an amazing family, but her family hails from Natick, Massachusetts, not too far from Boston. Melanie is tiny and lovable and eats her food in a very interesting way (she zones out, savoring every SAGA-y bite...). She owns a cat that was birthed by Satan himself named Toby, who likes to attack sick girls over vacation. She makes the most interesting noises your ears will ever come across. MelMel is pretty neat.

Ugyen Lhamo (UU): UU is a fascinating foreign specimen hailing all the way from a tiny country you may or may not have ever heard of called Bhutan. She will kick your ass. But she will also help you with your math homework and give you good advice.

John Helfrich (JohnJohn): Legend has it one day John Helfrich walked out of sea foam on the coast of California, and from that day on he has been telling tales and asking questions. On any given day students crowd the halls of D1 to learn the lessons of the sage John Helfrich.

Parimal: Parimal probably has a last name. Parimal is the intern of D1 and the other D's. Parimal is from Nepal. He plays really loud music and sings in the toilet. Parimal wants to be Australian or British, but I can't really distinguish based on his universal accent for both. He will say mean things to you, in which case there is a Vietnamese phrase that must be uttered with pride and enthusiasm.

Daneen: Daneen seems to have her own life. What the Jesus is that?

Ethan: Ethan plays instruments and occasionally has discussions with John. That is all I know about Ethan.

Jo Nguyen (JoJo, WinWin): Jo is technically Vietnamese but actually hails from the great south/midwestern land they call Oklahoma. You can call her your Oklahomie. She won't mind. Jo has good taste in music but her taste in men is debatable. She is the best dinner guest you will ever have. She has lots of midwestern charm. Another thing she has a lot of is dresses. Both of these things are good and thus JoJo Nguyen is good.

Melanie Kates (Mama Mel): Mama Mel has Disney movie marathons and will whip your ass into shape. She's into Yiddish which is a good thing to be into at Hampshire. Do your homework or she will find you.

(Descriptions written lovingly by Kayla Hogan, aka HoHo or Pkay Hoho, the J2 refugee. One day D1 took pity on her and fed her some Herbal Corn and mint tea and she just kept coming back. They haven't been able to get rid of her since.)