Animation your mama

Back in the summer of 2008, an email thread went around between CG folks trying to outdo each other with "your mama" jokes. (this might have kicked it off locally) Here are some that emerged from that thread and from recent conversations among members of Hampshire's extended animation/graphics family. Please add/edit/attribute!

Special shout out with love to all our wonderful mothers. No disrepect... just geek jokes.

so fat
Your mama so fat, she thought Shake was a weight-loss technique.

Your mama so fat, her matte lines have matte lines.

Your mama so fat, her local coordinates are global.

Your mama so fat, her UV coordinates go from 0 to 10.

Your mama so fat, she stepped on a ramp shader and broke it.

Your mama so fat, we turned on gravity and Maya crashed.

Your mama so fat, it takes three phongs just to cover her booty.

Your mama so fat, her UVs overlap.

Yo momma so fat, she's all secondary animation.

Yo momma so fat, they had to pull focus to get to her other eye.

Yo momma so fat, she does mo-cap acting for planets.

Yo Momma so fat, she thinks 3D Max is a bra size.

Yo momma so fat, Lightwaves can't escape.

Yo momma so fat, SIGGRAPH comes to her.

Yo mamma so fat, she needs Lightwave 4D. (alt: Yo Mama so fat, she gotta use Heavywave)

Yo momma so fat, she don't use Windows, she use doors.

Yo Mama so fat we gotta paint her weights with a roller.

Yo mama so fat, she can't use mice - she's gotta use rats.

Yo mama so fat, she's always in closeup.

Yo mama so fat, she ain't NTSC safe.

Yo mama soooo fat, her occlusion pass was pure black.

Yo mama so fat, we tried to use an 'over' node on her but Shake crashed.

so dumb
Your mama so dumb, she tried to smoke the Dope Sheet.

Your mama so dumb, she tried to take out the garbage matte.

Your mama so dumb, she thinks Matte Painting is a guy.

Your mama so dumb, she tried opening a Shake file in Blender.

Your mama so dumb, she shoot footage at a political rally so she could make a difference matte.

so poor
Your mama so poor, she can't afford Blender.