Velquiscere

The Velquiscere is something you have to steal. Go steal it. NOW.

The Velvis
In the 1990s, there was a large painting of Elvis executed on velvet. It was known around campus as The Velvis.

It lived in the mods, but not in one mod in particular. It was stolen back and forth by people.

It was... less than aesthetically pleasing. But if you had it, it meant you had stolen it. That was where the pride came from.

The stealing... that was the fun part.

It left campus around 2004. Which is totally lame.

The Velquiscere
In the depth of winter in early 2008, a group of Hampshire students were hanging out in Mod 1. It was a blinding snowstorm and the power was filckering on and off. We were drinking homemade mead and talking in hushed tones about the state of the college.

In walked Samuel Hoffman, covered in snow. On his shoulder was a corrugated iron poll.

He walked into the mod. The poll followed him. It kept coming. It was about six feet long. At its end was a sign.

The sign said, "RESERVED FOR PRESIDENT'S OFFICE." It was Hexter's parking

"It fell over in the wind," said Sam.

"Really?" asked the people in the mod.

"Yeah... that and a hacksaw," he replied.

They set about earning massive butch points by getting the sign off the poll.

Then three hours, a gallon of mead, and a lot of Sharpie later... there was born The Velquiscere.

NON SATIS REQUISCERE... TO PARK IS NOT ENOUGH!

The Rules and Regulations
1.You must not speak of the Velquiscere 2.The Velquiscere shall not leave campus grounds 3.Must be kept visible in common area 4.Must be hidden from all officials, especially in times of inspection 5.If you steal The Velquiscere, you become the owner of the Velquiscere 6.The Velquiscere cannot be taken, or prevented from being taken, by violent means. 7.If you are the owner of The Velquiscere when you ring the Div Free bell, you will find true love when the Revolution comes. 8.If you steal The Velquiscere with a hot- or not-dog in your mouth, three years of super amazing transcendental sex will follow. 9.If you steal The Velquiscere at midnight, you'll understand why nobody's right when everybody's wrong.

BREAKING ANY OF THESE RULES WILL RESULT IN YOUR BEING STRUCK DOWN BY THE GODS OF INQUIRY

AND YOUR BRAIN BEING PERMANENTLY RECONFIGURED IN THE FORM OF A QUESTION MARK.

So go steal it!
but who has it? If only we knew...